nurturing the home educating parent
by Anne Salazar-Dunbar

Given all of the time and energy it takes to raise and "educate" our children, it is no wonder that many of us suffer from burnout or outright resentment sometimes. It is difficult to add ourselves into the big picture as we figure out from day to day what our children need and what they will need in the future. We set ourselves aside and think we can delay our own needs, interests or passions. But this is dangerous territory and something we need to keep ourselves ever vigilant about. Otherwise, it just doesn't work. It is important that our children observe us learning and growing as individuals. Besides, who wants a grumpy, tired, unhappy adult around when we are trying to learn and enjoy life?

Early on in my parenting career it became blatantly obvious that I was completely wrapping up all of myself into my child and wondering why I felt so exhausted, so empty sometimes. Certainly raising our children is and can be great fun and very satisfying, but if you are like me, it is not my entire universe. It is not everything I am.

Slowly over time I began to fit things into my life that allowed me to be a more balanced, and therefor happier parent. It began as simple journaling; not just about parenthood but also about me and the things I loved outside of my domestic life. This kept me in touch with what resonates in my soul and makes me the unique individual I am. This began the path of keeping me sane. I knew I would be home educating my children and I knew that there would be no "break" as the kids went off to school. I had to gather my strength and energy and allow myself to get those breaks in different ways.

Two things I made sure I got on a regular basis, from the beginning, were exercise and massage. When the massage was not in our budget, I managed to trade with my therapist things like child-care, massage (I am a therapist), etc. Think of the things that you do well and you will have a cache' of items for barter. My massage therapist came to my home in the days when I had wee ones. The baby would lie near me or the small child would hide under the massage table. Look around and find the therapist who is flexible and creative!

Physical exercise is an absolute must, too! It has kept me literally sane. The sweating and the release of endorphins are better than any drug for the complete turn around of depression or general unhappiness. Yoga has been an integral part of my exercise program because it just grounds me so well and I LOVE the fact that at 45 years old I am incredibly flexible!

As time progressed I have been able to integrate more specific interests. One thing I did was the Kamana Program with the Wilderness Awareness School. It was something I was able to do at home, at my own pace. I have a great love of the natural world and this was extremely satisfying for me. I also love plant medicine and so I did a distance learning program with Michael Tierra. Again, I have been able to do this at my own pace and it has allowed me to continue learning a subject that fascinates and energizes me. And now that my children are older, I have begun once a week classes with a local herbalist and am training to be a Master Herbalist. This is a dream coming true! No, it didn't happen as quickly as I would have liked but hey, I have been busy!

In addition, I have been working on my home-based business as well as learned how to build my own website. Did all of this happen overnight? No. But I have always persisted in pursuing those things that speak to me and because of that, I have remained pretty darn happy.

So allow yourself to remember those things you love, those things that bring out your personal passions, and pursue them! Pursue them in small ways until you have the time to build on them. But take care of your SELF. If not for your sake, than for the sake of those you love. Besides, where will you be when your job with your children is (mostly) done and you find yourself with nothing for you? Don't let that happen!


Relaxing Resources

Read about the benefits of yoga in this article from the International Association of Yoga Therapists. Yoga is good for everyone. Kids,too.
Health Benefits of Yoga

Find out about the Kamana program; this is a good one to incorporate into your home educating. My 15-year-old loves it!
What is Kamana?

Read this great newsletter from Trinity Herbs on the herbs which benefit women. I daily consume herbal teas and find they have a very beneficial effect on my mental, emotional and physical well being.
Trinity Herbs [PDF]

You can study herbal medicine with Michael Tierra, renowned herbalist and author, by using his distance learning program.
Planet Herbs

This article, on the benefits of massage, comes from the Association of Massage Therapists
Everybody Needs a Massage!


Anne Salazar-Dunbar is the author of "Learning In Freedom" an online home-educating newsletter. She has been home educating since her first of three children was born in 1987. For more articles and information on home education go to her website at www.thenaturalife.com