hilarious homeschooling moments
by Becca Orlowski

Volumes have now been written about homeschoolers. Most are either "how to" manuals or success stories about prodigious and accomplished homeschoolers. This is neither.

Home education has proven to be a very humbling experience in our household. So many of our lofty goals have been set aside for more practical ones. This article is a glimpse into our attempt to create "finely cultured minds", "well-trained minds ", and "an educated child", but so far, has only managed to come up with, "minds that work something like a sieve", releasing from memory the stuff that we, the parents, think is important, but intuitively knowing how to build incredible Lego creations (all day long).

What's That Guy's Name?
We were on the road in our camper, ready to see the world, ready to be educated by our travel adventures. Slyly, I'd brought along a USA trivia game to review US history and add some new facts to our repitoire.

Confident that my son remembered the smorgasbord of information we've read about and discussed, I asked a question with the preface of "I know you'll know this one. Who found over 300 uses for the peanut?"

No response.

"Hint. He was named after a president."

"Richard Nixon!"

"Umm, he shares a name with the first president."

"George."

"George........" I nudged.

"George Washington."

"George Washington who?"

"George Washington Carter!!"

Right then and there, flashes of burger flipping jobs for my son seemed a definite possibility.

Ok, I'm the first to agree with the person who's thinking that education isn't about cramming facts into our kids' brains. Educators will tell you it's about real life application and pertinence. Is what my child learns relavent to his life? Can he apply what he's learned in a practical and meaningful way?

Impractical Knowledge
In our family, of course, the answer is no. No, the Archie comics, the Calvin and Hobbes, and the other assorted humorous volumes that my son devours so greedily fail to help him A) put his shoes away where they belong, B) find his shoes after he's misplaced them, and C) keep them on for more than a nano-second once I finally find them! Yes, in our family humor reigns and common sense is a misnomer-it is neither common nor sensible in our family.

Instead of Plato, it's Peanuts. Instead of John Calvin, it's Calvin and Hobbes, and instead of Dante, it's Drabble. It's not that my son doesn't enjoy learning about history and science, it's just that if it's not humorous, it's not likely to get picked up. So, while my shelves are lined with the Harvard Classics, his shelves are lined with Horrible History and Horrible Science with such lovely titles as The Rotton Romans, The Measley Middle Ages, Odius Oceans, and Bulging Brains. Well, life is full of compromises, right?

Two Final Thoughts
Perhaps my son's first word was a sign of things to come. My husband has a love affair with The Three Stooges and has a large photo of them on our wall. When my son was 9 months old, he smiled at the picture, pointed and said, "Moe!"

I can take myself far too seriously as a homeschooling mom. I can find myself comparing what I do with what others are doing. I can worry about my children's weaknesses instead of celebrating their strengths. Isn't it wonderful to know that I've got a family who daily reminds me to lighten up a little on this long journey called life?


Becca Orlowski is a homeschool mom in San Diego. You can meet her at the Mission Valley Book Club at Borders in Mission Valley West every first Monday of the month at 11:30AM.